


It Means Everything

by TheWorldAndTheEmpress



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 21:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9204722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWorldAndTheEmpress/pseuds/TheWorldAndTheEmpress
Summary: After a certain amount of kisses, it's no longer possible to stay in denial.





	

The first time that Eva kissed her she was completely unprepared. One second they were talking and the next, Eva was asking her to make out with her and she found herself with Eva's lips pressed against hers. And Vilde wasn't prepared. She wasn't prepared for how soft those lips would be, or how incredibly warm it would feel to have Eva standing so close to her.

That first time was over before Vilde had even had time to fully grasp what was happening. All that lingered was the feeling that something beautiful had happened to her.

And it wasn't that she was... you know... _a lesbian_ , or anything. Girls make out with their girlfriends all the time, it just proves that you're close. 

_It doesn't mean anything._

The second time they kissed was in the darkness of the Penetrator bus when Vilde's blood was filled with wine. She was surrounded by dancing bodies, and Eva was right in front of her. 

Eva had kissed her once before. 

If Vilde leaned just a little closer, she would feel those lips against hers again. She hadn't even realized she'd been thinking it before she was towering over Eva and kissing her with twice the force they'd used last time.

Vilde's heart was racing. That's what happens when you dance a lot. And she was feeling pretty flustered, it was really hot inside the crowded bus. It certainly wasn't because of Eva. Eva was her best friend, and sometimes best friends make out at parties when they're a little drunk.

_It doesn't mean anything._

It doesn't mean anything to Eva, at least, Vilde thought as she watched Eva spend the rest of the party glued to Penetrator Chris. Because Eva liked boys, obviously. So did Vilde too, though, she reminded herself. William was there too. William was her crush. Eva was her best friend.

It took her a few weeks, but eventually Vilde managed to admit to herself that maybe she kind of enjoyed kissing girls. But, like she told her friends a few days later; the feelings that arise when you're with another girl don't have to mean that you're a lesbian.

They'd kissed a few times, that's it. It was an in the heat of the moment kind of thing. It was just for fun.

But it didn't feel very fun anymore when Eva started devoting more of her time to Penetrator Chris. Vilde had kind of gotten into the habit of kissing Eva whenever alcohol was involved, but suddenly there was no room for her anymore. Suddenly Chris was the one with Eva's arms wrapped around his neck, kissing her fiercely. It didn't feel fun at all anymore. It hurt.

Vilde had to push this ache away. She had no reason to feel hurt. She hadn't in any way lost Eva. She was still privileged enough to get to enjoy lots of little moments with the best friend that she loved so dearly. Sometimes when she was walking right next to her or leaning her head against her shoulder, she almost forgot the way Eva made her heart ache. Eva was Vilde's best friend. _Vilde's_ , not Penetrator Chris'.

But these words were not as comforting as they'd once been. Vilde wasn't sure when the words “best friend” had started to make her wince. It just didn't sound right. Noora was her best friend. Sana and Chris as well. But Eva wasn't Noora. Eva was different. As much as she loved all of her friends, and how close they all were, she also felt a deep longing for Eva to be _only hers_ in some way.

Looking back, she has a hard time understanding how it took her _so long_ to figure it out. After all, loving Eva is the most obvious thing. How could she stop herself from being in love with her even if she tried?

It wasn't until one afternoon at the end of the semester that it finally clicked. She was in the schoolyard with her friends, Eva standing right by her side. A lock of ginger hair got caught in the wind and Vilde caught a whiff of the perfume she recognized immediately. The instinct to pull Eva to her and kiss her like there was no tomorrow came to her as strong as that time in the Penetrator bus. But this time there was no alcohol involved, the lights weren't dimmed and they weren't hiding in a crowd of people. This time they were standing among their friends in broad daylight, and yet Vilde wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

The realization dawned on her as a sigh left her body. Girls don't get the impulse to passionately kiss their best friends in front of the school without it meaning something. Feeling your heart beat out of your chest and your breath leave your body because she's so beautiful it almost hurts to look at her doesn't mean nothing. It means everything.


End file.
